Archimedes’ Hot Tub

I had the new experience this Sunday of seeing a performance based on a script I had written.  It wasn’t in  a theater, but at church. I wrote the script for the Christmas pageant this year, acted out by our youth. I built it around the story of Jesus’ birth in Luke 1 and 2.

I deliberately kept out of most of the rehearsals, which probably isn’t how playwrights normally work. I wanted the youth to adapt the language of the play to their everyday use of language and phrasing (they made fun of me for using ‘dude’). They opted to film the dream scenes, rather than acting them out live. That allowed for some nice effects in the video editing.

I was pleased to have people laugh in some of the right places. A few things didn’t work quite the way I would have liked. I thought I had changed a couple of things in the script that were still there in the end, and didn’t quite fit with scripture.

Anybody who would like to adapt the script may feel free to do so. I pasted it in below, due to some uploading issues with my outdated version of Wordpress.

Do drop me a line if you use it, or have questions about it.

I’ll post a video from it when it’s ready.

A Dream of Christmas

A nativity pageant in one act

By Michael Fitzgerald

Cast:

Teen 1 –

Teen 2 –

Teen 3 –

Joseph –

Mary –

Innkeeper –

Shepherd 1 –

Shepherd 2 –

Shepherd 3 –

Shepherd 4 –

Shepherd 5 –

Shepherd 6 –

Assorted sheep

Angel of the Lord –

Other angels

Guest at the Inn

Wise man 1 –

Wise man 2 –

Wise man 3 –

Scene 1

[Three teens talking in a cafeteria or other environment]

Teen 1: You know, I don’t buy that story about how Jesus came to earth. If I were God, I would come in a flying chariot with a great sound system, and people would know who I was!

Teen 2: I don’t know. God tried that, and it didn’t work.

Teen 3. What do you mean? I don’t remember Bible stories involving God flying a chariot.

Teen 2:  Well, not exactly. But God parted the Red Sea, which is a pretty neat trick. And the Hebrews, they turned right around and created the Golden Calf. Lots of the Old Testament stories see God giving visible signs to the Hebrews, trying to get them to pay attention. Maybe God wants followers who want to follow, and not just because they think they better do it or else.

Teen 1: Maybe, but I think God went about it all wrong. Who wants a helpless baby as God?

Teen 2: We should talk about this some more at youth group; I have to go home and get ready for school tomorrow.

Teen 3: Me, too

Teen 1: Okay, see ya.

Scene 2

[We see Teen 1 at a desk, homework in front of her.]

Teen 1: Confirmation class is so much work! The pastor is making us memorize practically the entire Bible. I think I’ll take a nap…

Scene 3

[Outside of Bethlehem. A man stands next to a donkey carrying a pregnant woman. The man is poking at his cell phone. He gets increasingly agitated.]

Joseph [angry]: Aargh. Hotels.com says every hotel and inn in the area is booked.  How can this be?

Mary [sighs]: Joey, didn’t you book the room before we left?

Joseph: How was I supposed to know they’d fill up? Nobody goes to Bethlehem, honey. How many people could possibly need to come back for the census?

Mary: I keep telling you, that cell phone isn’t God. And even if it were, God doesn’t make rooms miraculously appear.

Joseph:  We’ll find something when we get there. Somebody’s bound to not show up.

Scene 4

[Wayfarer’s Inn. It’s dark. Joseph is banging on the door.]

Voice: Hey, keep it down out there!  We’re trying to sleep!

Joseph [ignores voice, keeps banging]: Innkeeper!  Hello?!

[Mary covers her eyes and shakes her head. Then she pulls out her ipad.]

Innkeeper: Dude! It’s really late. Didn’t you see the sign? We don’t have any rooms.

Joseph [pleading]: What’s up with that? We couldn’t even get in at the youth hostel.

Innkeeper: There’s a big game tomorrow. We’re playing the Philistines.

Joseph [smacks his head]: Oh, that’s right!  I forgot about that. What do you think our chances are?

Innkeeper. I don’t know. They’re pretty tough this year. Really, we haven’t had a good team since Samson cut his hair.

Joseph: Yeah, he was a great player! Remember that time he just crushed them?

Innkeeper: I sure do! Man, that rocked!

Mary: Ahem!

[Innkeeper and Joseph both look up, sheepish.]

Innkeeper [after awkward pause]. Anyway, I’m really sorry, but we’re full.

Joseph: But, dude, my wife is really pregnant! Look at her! I can’t have her just sleeping outside.

Mary: Say, I see from your web page that you’ve got a good-sized stable. Is that full?

Joseph: Yo, M, you can’t sleep in the barn!

Mary: Joey, it will be fine.

Innkeeper: Well, there is a little area where servants sometimes sleep, and that is available. I’ll get you some fresh hay.

Scene 5

[Later that night, in the rural areas outside Bethlehem]

Shepherds with their flocks [some younger kids]. The shepherds stare at their phone or tablet apps

Shepherd 1: Ok, Sheep Detector Night Time Vision edition shows 13 sheep over by the fence, 15 sheep by the tree, and one moving at high speed off the screen…hey, wait – that’s a wolf with my lamb!

Shepherd 2: Dude, that’s your sheepdog.

Shepherd 1:  Oh. Right.

Angel appears: Have no fear! I bring good news!

Shepherds babble about Fruit Ninja scores.

[Angel looks around. Sighs. Clears throat.]

Angel [loudly]: Have no fear! I bring good news!

[Shepherds still don’t look up.]

[Angel stomps his feet, glowers.]

Angel: Kids this millennium! I swear.

[Takes out cell phone, taps on it. On screen flashes the words: “Check it: Christ the Savior=born! Go 2 manger in D’s Town!”

Shepherds’ phones buzz [with Hark The Herald Angels ring tone]. ]

Shepherd 2: Hey, the Savior is born! Awesome!

Shepherd 1: Savior? Why would the Savior need to be born?

Shepherd 2: I dunno. Let’s go check it out!

Shepherd 1: Well, I did just get a high score on Fruit Ninja. I guess I’ll go.

[interlude: A youth plays Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring or other appropriate piece on the piano. Alternatively, a youth choir could perform a song like Go Tell It on the Mountain]

Scene 6

[At the manger. Gathered are shepherds on one side, with some sheep. Angels. Joseph, Mary and a baby. ]

Mary:  My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my savior.

His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation.

He has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.

He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly.

He has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty.

[Enter Three wise men, bearing gifts.]

1st wise man: After you.

2^nd wise man: No, after you!

3^RDwise man: I am the oldest, I should go last.

[Glares.]

1^st wise man: All right, rock paper scissors.

[Game ensues.]

[Myrhh is brought forward.]

Joseph: Hey, that’s nice. My hands get rough in the winter.

[Mary makes a face.]

[Frankincense is brought forward.]

Joseph: We could’ve used some of that last night. It smells like a barn in here.

[Mary elbows him.]

[Gold is brought forward.]

Joseph: Hey, thanks – now we can send him to college!

[Mary rolls her eyes.]

[In the background, shepherds are shooting photos.]

Shepherd 4: Hey, the baby isn’t in focus. It looks like just bright light!

Shepherd 5: I’m having the same problem.

Shepherd 6: The angels told us that we would find here a child lying in a manger who is our Saviour. We did not believe, but we are amazed at what we see.

[Mary and Joseph smile.]

[Angels sing [insert song here from youth choir]]

Scene 7

[Teens gather again.]

Teen 1: You won’t believe this dream I had. There were angels, and shepherds, only the shepherds were using iPads and stuff. And Jesus, well, Jesus was this cute little baby. Only the baby just showed up in pictures like a bright light.

Teen 2:  It sounds glorious.

Teen 3:  Still think that was the wrong way for God to appear on Earth? Just the way we do?

Teen 1:  Nobody brought me college tuition when I was born.

Teen 2: What are you talking about?

Teen 1: In my dream, these guys brought presents, and one of them brought gold. Joseph thanked him for taking care of college tuition.

Teen 2: He did?

Teen 3: I think you’re dreaming about how you’re going to pay for college.

Teen 1: Well, it was pretty exciting in its own way, I guess.  And it does make sense to me that if God wanted to experience what it was like to be us, being a baby was the way to start. Say, I wonder if Jesus had to go through confirmation class.

Teen 2: That’s a whole different story.

THE END

Nieman Storyboard graciously allowed me to write about why I like Andrew Corsello’s “The Wronged Man.” I read this story years ago, and it shook me. I continue to think about that story and the mockery of justice it exposed.

Here’s what I wrote. Here’s my interview with Corsello about writing the piece.

Maybe some day I’ll write something half as good, and meaningful.

I was invited to see what for the moment I’ll call a new video conferencing technology in action today. I trooped over to Harvard’s Sanders Theater to watch Michael Sandel teach a session of Justice, focusing on the moral aspects of collective responsibility, or what we owe each other, and what society owes us.

Sandel stood underneath both the Latin script on the wall above the stage and a huge projector screen, with six video windows on it, not unlike a gathering of Skype windows. These connected his Harvard class to students in universities in Shanghai, Tokyo (where it was 1 a.m.), New Delhi and Sao Paolo (as well as a connection to San Francisco). Sandel engaged students from each place in his hour-long Socratic discussion of our moral obligations.
Sandel used an iPad app called Spin, put together by Net Power & Light, a San Francisco startup that is emerging from stealth mode. I don’t know enough about Net Power & Light’s technology to say much about how it works, but I wanted to note some quick impressions:

It isn’t nearly as good as telepresence technology, but the iPad video was pretty good. As a way to create a five-country live video conference in classrooms more than 11,000 miles apart, running over WiFi, it was excellent. There were some small hiccups in the audio, but nothing worse than what you would get over a cell phone. Spin is obviously cheaper than telepresence.
They did ask us to turn off our cell phones and any WiFi connections we might have, though we were told that was because of concerns over the massive power outage in Cambridge last night.

He didn’t do anything fancy, like bring in outside video or audio. But it turns out that this was the third time Sandel has used the Spin technology to connect students for a global discussion of political philosophy, and we journalists (I think I was the only journalist working for a U.S publication in attendance) were shown a clip from a previous class where he brought in a guest speaker via Spin.

It’s not clear to me that it works any better than something like Google Hangout.

It took several people running iPads around Sanders Theatre and one grad student running the session via another iPad (I think) to make this work. That’s not going to fly for most classroom environments. That said, overseas, there was only one iPad per classroom, and students who wanted to speak could either walk up to it, or someone brought it over when Sandel called on them.

It was clear that on the topic of the day, students in five disparate cultures mostly shared the same sense of collective responsibility. (Whether people not in the intellectual elite would agree with them is a different question.)
The journos went downstairs afterwards for a chat with some students, Sandel, and Tara Lemmey, Net P&L’s CEO [disclosure: I am friendly with Tara, which may color my comments].

The three students said they liked the interaction with students from other places. They want better audio, but they also want to use the technology more often, and especially in their discussion sections (large Harvard classes like Justice often include discussion sections, led by graduate teaching assistants).

Sandel told us he feels like the technology “is opening the Sanders Theater and the Harvard classroom and inviting the world in.” He hopes to expand his use of it, though there’s nothing firm on that front.
Tara said the Spin platform was initially built for people to play music together.

I liked how Tara corrected me when I mentioned ‘users’ of the Spin system. “It’s a design criteria that we don’t use the word user. Nobody’s allowed to use it. They really do get banished in the organization if they do. We talk about people.”

I’ve started playing a bit with the Spin tool. I hope to write more on this soon. I don’t know that it’s revolutionary or disruptive. But it might not have to be to be hugely useful.